hacksawbebo

I think the show Reaper would  be better if it was a half our show?

http://www.islandreefjob.com/#/Mitchell 

The alarm went off sharply at 10:00. After several moments of denial, Grayson reached over and shut the alarm off. For the briefest of moments he considered shirking the responsibilities of the day and returning to the dream that was quickly fading from memory.

With a groan Grayson rolled out of bed and stumbled to the shower. The hot water heater had died earlier that week, and the empty threats had only earned him empty promises from the landlord. The cold water across his chest elicited a gasp of air. Now fully awake, Grayson quickly scrubbed down and jumped out of the shower, shivering as he toweled off in the cold air. Wrapping his towel around him.

He committed to the daily ritual of shaving, brushing, plucking and detailing that allowed him to walk among decent society. With one final splash of cold water, he studied himself for a moment, ensuring that his morning routine had been aptly administered.

Breakfast consisted of granola in yogurt, as the eggs had gone bad. Between bites of yogurt, he jotted down items on the back of an advertisement for Chinese take-out: a half dozen eggs, a half gallon of milk, a loaf of bread (wheat unless something else was on sale) peanut butter, baby spinach, chicken breasts and a bag of frozen broccoli. He contemplated checked his pantry, double-checking he hadn't missed anything.

He dressed himself in the required clothing for a man of his stature. His black khaki's were comfortable yet still presentable. He pulled his dress shirt off the hanger, frowning at the wrinkles in it. He mentally chastised himself for forgetting to iron the shirt, and moved to where he kept the ironing board. While the iron heated he grabbed his slip-free black boots from the closet and put them on. Moving back to the ironing board, he deftly swept the iron across the front and back of the shirt until it was presentable, if not perfect. The final button in place, he grabbed the keys from the table and walked out the door, locking up after himself.

Work was a brisk 20 minute walk from home, and Grayson made it to the restaurant with a few minutes to spare. The morning staff flashed a smile of gratitude before ducking into the back. The dining room was empty, with only a few regulars scattered haphazardly across several tables. At the counter things were slightly busier, with a line long enough to keep the kitchen staff hustling but not long enough to frustrate the woman at the end of the line.

The woman absent-mindedly fingered the latch on her purse as she watched the other customers from behind a pair of sunglasses. Grayson noted that her modest business suit was custom tailored and fit her body in a flattering yet modest fashion. Her hair was up in the standard boardroom bun. Grayson turned to the back to prepare himself for the morning when he heard the chimes on the door ring.

Grayson turned to see an elderly man walking through the door. Seeing that the morning waitress had already all but left, he greeted the old man.

"Good morning sir, a table for how many?"
"Just one." The old man said. His shirt was starched and pressed, reminding Grayson of his own shoddy looking shirt. The old man wore a tan suit with a brown belt and matching brown shoes. An embroidered bird of prey prepared to strike from the man's breast pocket. In the old man's hand he held an older fedora, possibly as old as Grayson. 
Grayson sat the man at a table by the window. "Anything to drink while you decide what to have, sir?" 
The old man picked up the menu. "Just a coffee with 2 sugars." 

Grayson disappeared into the kitchen area to prepare the coffee. Bringing it out, he saw the woman from the line approach his customer. 
"Richard."
The old man eyed the woman. "Tabitha, I see your father has finally gotten you into the family business."
The woman smiled. "Yes, sadly the days of running the world eventually must come to an end. These days they don't have me doing anything more than running errands and getting take-out for lunch."
Richard returned her smile, though the nose down. "I'm sure you'll find a way to move up the company ladder sooner or later." The old man's smile widened. " Why, I remember when I was your age it seemed that someone was always losing their head over there. It didn't take your father more than a few years to rise to  a senior position over there." 
Tabitha's eyes flashed murder, though the smile never left her lips. "I appreciate your faith in me, Richard. Anyway, I must get back to the office. Wouldn't want Solomon's Rueban to get soggy." 
"How is Solomon these days, Tabitha?" 
"He's well enough. He actually wished for me to give you a note from him. I was going to come by your place later on today." Tabitha began to balance the bags of food as she dug through her purse, pulling out a sealed envelope. 
"Quite convinient you stopping in like this."
"Yes, my father had a feeling you might be here. It was his idea for me to come here for lunch." 
"So like Raphael to kill two birds with one stone." 
Tabitha laughed. "Tell me about it, I can't count how many times he used my birthdays as business meetings. Good day to you Richard."

The woman Tabitha walked to the door and stepped out. Grayson, waiting until his customer had finished his conversation, brought the coffee to the old man. The old man opened the evelope, and with a start jumped to his feet. Grayson was able to read on the note as he placed the coffee on the table.
The note read: The Truce Is Over.
Then the car outside the window exploded. Grayson was knocked off his feet into a flash of red and orange before everything went black.

and/or why so many people around the world hate us.

My Political Views
I am a centrist social libertarian
Right: 0.94, Libertarian: 7.15

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My Foreign Policy Views
Score: -6.78

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My Culture War Stance
Score: -4.6

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20 pounds gone.


230 as of today.

If you had to choose between all the casual, random sex you could get without fear or disease or distress, or a long term companion that had no erotic qualities, which would you choose?

So a little amendment to that last post.

The scale today said 235. 15 pounds since the 29th.

Woot!

So I've spent most of the evening watching How I Met Your Mother and Scrubs. HIMYM is consistently the funniest sitcom I've ever seen on television.

Scrubs is....funny. Has anyone watching the show noticed that the season premiere seemed...off? The production value is different.

So...just an update.


I'm down 1210 pounds since I started dieting(Fucking Houlihans). I was hoping to lose 20 before the end of January, since I figure the last 30 are going to be fucking hell to lose.

I made some Eggplant Lasagna that turned out really well and tasted amazing.

Tonight I made Vegetable Stew and tried my hand for the 2nd time at a Rissoto dish. The Vegetable stew came out amazingly well. The Risotto...well....honestly it was pretty bland. I'm trying to remember what I did to it last time that made it so good. Did I have teriyaki in it? Can't remember, though that's not traditional for risotto dishes. Next time I'll look at more recipes, see if I can throw something together that I like.

Other than that, life's about the same. I want to get out and work out more, but I don't have people do it with...and just getting out and *gulp* meeting people is crazy talk.

Thoughts when I should be going to bed:

-Foods I want to try and prepare:
Eggplant Lasagna
Mushroom Veggie spaghetti
Risotto.


-Looking back, it's kind of interesting how much I allowed a lot of opportunities at romance to fly by because I was too scared and too picky. This has probably been mentioned here before, but it's worth repeating. It's not that I'm unlovable, it's that I'm fucking inept.

-I think my risk for January will be to recite poetry. I happened to end up at a coffee pub that was doing it month or so back and was intrigued.

-Need to start running in the morning.

-60 days until I'm out of this roach infested hell-hole.

-Is it still anorexia if you're morbidly obese?

-Lose 50 lbs.
-Find a church
-Get out more
-Regain/develop some more self confidence
-Journal/get things out
-Take 1 risk each month

Jackie
Hello Ben its your mom

Ben
hey mom

Jackie
whatzup

Ben
I have a sort of deep question for you

Jackie
oh gee
how deep

Ben
How do you think I've changed or grown in the past 5 years?
How has my personality changed.

Jackie
You are more mature now. You seem more relaxed and sure of yourself You do not seem to be as angry as you were a year or so ago
I still think you are lonely

Ben
and 5 years ago?

Jackie
5 years ago you were searching very hard to make your self happy. You did not know which direction you were going. You flipped floppped alot

Jackie
Why are you asking

Ben
Someone on the frenzyboard asked how we have changed since we started going there.
I wanted to get someone else's opinion on it.

Jackie
Did I help

Ben
A bit.
Here's what I wrote.
"Well, I used to be a lot more of a nice, sweet, non-offensive person when I first started coming here. I think one of my first big posts was talking about how we need to be nice to each other and not be so mean-spirited. Now I'm much more of a jackass that is more willing to speak his mind, both in person and on here. I was also much more religious than I am now. Looking back, I view my old self as a serious toolbag that was afraid to speak his mind because he was afraid of what people may think. At the same time I do miss the connection to my faith I had when I first started coming here. "

(9:16:42 AM) Mama: Greg may have to have hip surgery. We see a surgeon tomorrow.
(9:16:50 AM) Me: :-/
(9:16:57 AM) Me: That's no good.
(9:16:58 AM) Mama: Yeah I know
(9:17:20 AM) Mama: He can hardly get up and down.
(9:17:39 AM) Me: You see mom, this is why you don't get your husbands used.
(9:17:56 AM) Mama: He is a good used one.
(9:17:58 AM) Me: Someone else gets them all worn out, and you have to pay to fix them up.
(9:18:11 AM) Mama: Besides he treates me like I am brand new
(9:18:13 AM) Me: You should have been a cougar.
(9:18:23 AM) Mama: why a cougar
(9:18:45 AM) Me: I don't know. It would be funny to complain about have a step-father that is 2 years younger than me.
(9:19:07 AM) Mama: I thought you meant the animal
(9:19:25 AM) Mama: By the way I like your new picture on facebook
(9:19:35 AM) Me: A lot of people do.
(9:20:05 AM) Mama: You have such a pretty face you should not make it look bad
(9:20:15 AM) Mama: Gosh I am hot
(9:20:29 AM) Mama: I think the hotfashes have started
(9:20:43 AM) Me: Mama's getting old!
(9:20:47 AM) Me: Mama's gettting old.
(9:20:51 AM) Mama: no just hot
(9:20:56 AM) Me: Then again we already know that.
(9:21:11 AM) Mama: dig a hole ben
(9:21:25 AM) Mama: I will make sure you stay there
(9:21:43 AM) Me: Just think, in 3 months it will have been a quarter of a century since I popped out of you. All helpless and sweet.
(9:22:10 AM) Mama: And precious. I miss you
(9:22:21 AM) Me: I miss you too, mom.

A few nights back I had the damndest dream that was one of those uber vivid, that-was-a-dream? dreams that stick with you for months. And whenever some piece of imagery from those dreams shows up in real life you kind of freak out like God gave you this important vision and you can't seem to remember the big parts.

Anyway. It starts out with me going into this pub. It's not like any pub I've ever been to. The scenery was too classic for any of the places I have gone. The thing is everyone there's life is miserable. I think the bar's about to go under, stuff like that. So it's a real killjoy of a place. There's this girl there who sort of looks like a girl at my church who I think is cute, though it wasn't exactly her. More like my subconscious had modeled dream girl after her.

I go back a few months and things have improved, go back 3 months later and things are looking even more up...except for me and the girl. Somehow we get into a heavy petting makeout session and I'm holding her from behind when I start to see some sort of map lightly tattooed onto her back. From there I notice a scar on her side that, now that I think about it now, looked kind of like a knife scar. She says it reminds her of her boyfriend and debates whether or not to go back to him.

At this point I am saddened. Not so much because of a jealousy thing...at least I don't think it was a jealousy thing. I just remember thinking what a waste for something so beautiful to go back to something that wouldn't care about it. It bothered me, I'd go so far as to say it broke my heart.

Anyway, I only remembered it because I just had a big glass of very chocolate milk, and will probably have crazy dreams tonight because of the cocoa.

Older than old, I'm sure. Still, posting it.